What do you do when you desperately want to write but the words just don't come? Since losing my second job, I have found myself itching to write more often. When I get home from work now; I walk the dog, I make some dinner, and then I sit down to read or watch TV. Last night specifically, I tried to write.
My mind was clear, I had a fire going in the fireplace, some relaxing music playing…
I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't sit still. I kept coming up with excuses to not write. I wouldn't necessarily call it writer's block. One thing that I know about myself? My best work comes from the darkest parts of me. Over the years I've compartmentalized those parts of me away so that I don't spiral. I've never tried to write from a happy place. I certainly can't write about love when I haven't been in love in years. There are thousands of tips, websites, books, and blogs all dedicated to helping a writer write. I admit that I've read a few of them. Most give advice about clearing your mind or your schedule or your working space. Some encourage free writing while others encourage structure and outlines. Some tell you to make everything up. Others tell you to write what you know. Each piece of advice is good in its own right, but sometimes the block is just the block.
Years ago while I was briefly unemployed I started a novel. I typed out thirty pages worth of storyline. It flowed out of me in a way that I had never experienced before. It felt like I tapped into something primal and guttural. Then? Distraction. Real work came knocking and a gal has to eat. Somewhere along the way I lost those pages. The cloud may have existed back then but I failed to back it up. I've never been able to get back to that story. It's lost to me now.
I've never had that feeling since. Words no longer just come out of me without control. It's incredibly frustrating since I know that feeling exists. I should be able to capture it again. How do I get to THAT? How do I tap back into something that I accidentally stumbled on the first time around?
I think part of this blog is an attempt to recapture some of that. To try and force myself to write more often while trying to reach the part of me that I didn't know was there. To try and get to that place without digging into the dark is going to be hard but hopefully not impossible.
Fellow writers, do you know this feeling I'm referring to?
Golden Globes and Meryl Streep
Good Morning Everyone! Happy Monday! Did everyone watch the Golden Globes last night? As you know by now, I'm a huge consumer of entertainment in all its forms. One of the reasons I love awards season is because I end up finding out about new shows and movies that I didn't previously have on my radar.
There are so many amazing TV shows and movies being made right now. It truly feels like we're in a golden age of creation in a way that we haven't been in a while.
The Golden Globes also cemented for me that I need to go and see La La Land. I've been wanting to see it for the better part of a year, it's truly my kind of movie. I'm a die-hard fan of musicals in general and it looks magical. Apparently I'm not the only one who thought so since it won several awards last night.
The opening number was predictably fun and silly. It's exactly the kind of opening that I would have expected from Jimmy Fallon; bright, colorful, musical…
I was happy to see some of my favorites win. Claire Foy and the Crown were definitely deserving as were the Night Manager and it's stars Tom Hiddleston and Hugh Laurie. Casey Affleck was certainly the obvious choice to win the Best Actor in a Drama, but with good reason.
One of the most eloquent parts of the ceremony was the honoring of Meryl Streep by Viola Davis. The speech Viola made in honor of Meryl was beautiful and nearly brought me to tears. In watching the clips of Meryl's movies, it's clear to me that I have not seen enough of them. I also thought that Meryl's speech for the acceptance of the lifetime achievement award was well stated and passionate. Whether or not you agreed with her statements or the politics behind them, I found her speech to be a classy and well thought out admonishment of the behavior of our President-Elect. Predictably he lashed out this morning, behaving like a child instead of concerning himself with actual matters of state. That's for another post someday though.
I cannot wait to get home from work today so that I can start watching more of the talented people who were nominated and won last night.
Below is the link for the full list of winners and nominees. I encourage you to go through it and find something new to watch. The arts of the best expression of our humanity.