Lessons in Anxiety pt.2
It may not be funny to you, but it's relatively entertaining to me that i would come back to the blog to write in a time of anxiety. Especially when the last main post was about my anxiety.
Right now I'm stuck inside and around my property. I can't go anywhere except the grocery store and honestly, I don't even want to do that. Where I am is not a current hot spot for the COVID-19 virus that's sweeping the world, however, I certainly don't want to go about tempting fate by not following the mandates set out by the CDC/WHO.
So here's a few of the dozen or so reasons I am struggling with my anxiety right now:
I'll start with that last one first because it's the current source of frustration for me. I work from home. I have not been furloughed yet. I have now added to my full time job the homeschooling of my nephew. Right now it's a week on/week off for me. My sister does the other week. But I can tell you right now that I have anywhere from the same amount of time to myself to less than that. Every day I see countless memes and posts about how bored everyone is or how much they get to create. I'm so glad that they are healthy and able to lounge around all day but the rest of us who are still working, are kind of stressed out right now. I've had no time to create, I've been trying to read as much as I can in order to escape but I can only do so much.
Then there are the Facebook Groups. There's so much ignorance. People thinking that there are magical cures, people shrieking about their freedoms being stripped away (what about my freedom not to DIE Karen?), people talking about how we're all dumb and it's no worse than the flu, and my favorite...the outright conspiracy theorists who think it's the 5G towers. Oh, and the assholes screaming for their taxes back since school switched to online for the kids. Everyone is angry and scared and many are just outright stupid. Here's the thing though. I would absolutely quit. I would. But right now, those groups are also the only source of information as to where there are the supplies we need. Or which government offices are still open. Or any of the dozen other community things that those groups are designed for. So I go through, methodically "hiding" everyone so I can't see their bullshit. But it's just too much some days.
The concerts that are being cancelled just make me sad. I just had one that was for August cancel. August! It's still only April. I had an entire NYC weekend go up in smoke. And I get it. I really really do. We need to be safe. Doesn't stop me from being a little sad that I won't be able to see the shows.
I have a new niece I can't meet yet. This also makes me incredibly sad. I don't know when I'll get to. And I can't even go into the fact that a best friend's Mom died and I can't go do all the things a best friend is supposed to do. She can't even have a memorial/funeral. For her own mother.
I don't even know how to end this post. There's no point to it other than to get my anxious ramblings out of my head. I miss my family, I want to travel. I guess I'll just go work in the yard some more to try and get it all out.
I hope all you lovely muses are safe and well. Drop your anxiety in the comments. Just get it out. Festering does no one any good.